Writing mistakes
Case study
Here’s a case study in writing coaching.
“Shirley” has a public relations job at a big nonprofit. She writes news releases, newsletters and internet copy, all poorly. She doesn’t know the active voice from apple cider, she confuses their and there and she can’t differentiate a good lead on a story from a bargain on a new set of dishes.
Her supervisors provide little guidance and no feedback on her writing. Shirley hires me to teach her to write better.
Shirley is a good student. She e-mails me pieces she’s working on, and we talk about improving this sentence or that organizational structure. For a few months, she pays attention. She never emits that satisfying “Aha!” sound that teachers love to hear, never indicates that she’s actually learning. But she continues seeking help.
Soon Shirley grows “too busy” to write the news releases on her desk. She e-mails me facts and hires me to ghostwrite her assignments. Sometimes she misses essential pieces of information. Often I need to ask what the story should be about. She passes off my writing as her own.
I don’t have an ethical problem with this situation, because many people hire ghost-writers. As long as she submits the required manuscripts to her manager on time, no one is the wiser. Nor, of course, does Shirley learn to write better.
For a year, Shirley is out of my life. Suddenly she reappears in my inbox with a résumé – again, many people pay for help here – and a gimmicky letter about herself to follow a job interview.
She is applying to manage internal communications at another big nonprofit. Her still-poor writing astonishes. If I edit her prose, I promote an inept candidate. If I don’t, she falls flat.
What’s a writing coach to do?
Contact us
Contact us. Or don’t! Do we care?
Some websites with contact pages require you to divulge personal information before you can ask a simple question. Does your site do that? If so, do you think it pushes away the very potential new customers or clients you want to attract?
Make certain that you ask only for what you really need — an e-mail address. Delete stringent requirements that compare you to a knight peering through a slit in the castle wall. How? Imagine being your own customer.
Case in point. In a public elevator I found two blank checks belonging to a lawyer I know. I couldn’t e-mail him until after business hours. I wrote in the blank box on his contact page that I would destroy and discard the checks. But in order to send the message, I had to supply 9 tidbits about myself — and then identify the crooked letters and numbers in one of those stupid security codes. No way.
So I phoned. The voice-mail commando instructed me to punch the name, last, then first, into my phone. Punch, indeed.
Imagine, though, that I wanted to hire this man to represent me in a legal matter. I know of his excellent reputation and community work, and I have met him at Peggy’s dictionary parties. No way would I reveal all that info to gain permission to bow and ask a simple question. Lawyers abound in my town. Some are easier to reach.
Moral: Check to see if your site allows ready access or forbids easy passage.
Use a comma in a series?
Q. Is it correct to use a comma before the last item in a series? I say yes. My boss says no. We argue about it every day.
A. Your call. Actually, your boss’ call. (Never lose a job over commas.) The comma before the end of a series is called a serial comma. You, your boss and your entire office or division can choose to use it or not. Just be consistent.
Style guides differ. Of the two most popular and authoritative guides, the Associated Press Stylebook, used by most newspapers and half of all magazines, says NO. If you follow AP style, you’ll write
- Go to the store to buy apples, oranges and Shredded Wheat.
- The manager requested marking pens, rubber bands and longer lunch breaks.
- High-school students study English, science and history.
The Chicago Manual of Style, used by most books, colleges and governmental agencies, says YES. If you follow Chicago style, you’ll write
- Go to the store to buy apples, oranges, and Shredded Wheat.
- The manager requested marking pens, rubber bands, and longer lunch breaks.
- High-school students study English, science, and history.
What matters is consistency in all the materials you and your organization create. If you work independently, you should choose your comma preference now and abide by your choice.
If you don’t care or cannot easily choose, I recommend deleting that final comma. That style is most contemporary. It works best for everything you write on paper and online. But if your boss disagrees, keep your job.
Justice Scalia teaches word usage
The American Bar Association’s online ABA Journal published this English lesson November 4, 2009:
A lawyer for a company that sells tax-free cigarettes over the internet got a lesson on word usage from Justice Antonin Scalia. Lawyer Randolph Barnhouse described an opportunity to collect tax money as an inchoate interest – an interest that is not yet fully formed, the Associated Press reported.
Barnhouse argued that a city government may not bring a RICO suit to recover uncollected taxes because a lost tax opportunity is not an injury to property covered by the statute.
Barnhouse spoke of a choate interest in property – to Scalia’s dismay. “There is no such adjective,” Scalia said. “I know we have used it, but there is no such adjective as choate. There is inchoate, but the opposite of inchoate is not choate. It’s like gruntled.”
“But I think I am right on the law, Your Honor,” Barnhouse said.
“Exactly. Disgruntled,” Scalia said. “Some people mistakenly assume the opposite of disgruntled is gruntled.”
For more detail, click here.
Writing mistakes to dye for
Please enjoy some of my favorite writing mistakes. After laughing, please share your own.
Ingredience. This word, written on a box of matzo imported from Israel, represents a gestalt concept that gives new meaning to the components of a food product.
Leak soup. This filling appetizer appeared on the menu at a retirement community. It strikes me as a grim dining choice for people who perceive their youth is dribbling away.
Think there’s something smelly about the way world oil prices are being set? Reuters news service reported that prices had moderated and a barrel of U.S. light crude was trading eight scents lower.
Duel air bags. In my car, I usually spar with the seatbelts.
CNN did a story about a woman with a lot of chutzpa. The closed caption said she had Hud Spa. Is that a sauna for Paul Newman?
A sign in the parking lot of Wills Eye Hospital points to the proper place for Wills Eye Drop Off. Deliver your ears to Pennsylvania Hospital and drive your legs out to the Crozer Medical Center.
